Dear Seth Dillon Devotee,
I know what you're thinking: "Will this incredibly attractive, successful man keep emailing me forever?" The answer, which I'm sure will come as a relief to you, is absolutely yes. You rely on my emails to make your life worthwhile, and I won't let you down.
In return, all I ask is that you become a paid Babylon Bee subscriber. After all, maintaining a staff of nameless, faceless slaves to produce biting satire and land me spots on cable news shows isn't cheap. As a subscriber, you will have access to exclusive content and full-length podcasts, 20% off purchases at our online store, and the chance to submit your own headlines to be indiscriminately rejected.
In addition to the perks mentioned above, you will provide vital support for the Bee as we continue to push back against censorship, liberal media propaganda, and woke crusaders who are wanting to silence us. Take the opportunity to stand with us against Big Tech. |
Your Role Model,
Seth Dillon |
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